A Decision

I finally decided to take the hormones.

God has excellent fine motor skills

For you created me in my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
-Psalm 139.13
Kristin gave Shannon and I a journal that tracks what's going on with the baby while it is in your womb. We were behind a few days, so we read 4 day's worth of entries. Here's what struck me as crazy today...
The spleen is beginning to develop...the pituitary gland is forming in the baby's brain...pigment is beginning to form in the retina of the eye...the "lower limb paddles" will develop into foot plates in four days...the windpipe and voice box are beginning to form...and the baby now measures .3-.43 inch in length.
I read this tonight and was amazed, but it did not sink in until we prayed together tonight. As I was praying, my mind recalled David's words in Psalm 139. No, God does not have literal fingers, but think about this. God almighty, who created the universe, transcends time and space and is everywhere all of the time, is currently forming pigment in the retina of my baby's eyes, developing its windpipe and voice box and turning its paddles into foot plates, all while the baby is less than a half of an inch long. God is dealing with the problems of our earth, like hunger and AIDS, is holding all things together everywhere, and has the time, the love and the grace to form my baby in my wife's womb.
The personal nature of God's love and concern for us is overwhelming, which is the point of Psalm 139. As I go to sleep tonight, I will rest easy as my mind is speculating and my heart is celebrating the nearness of God.

A little rough

Today has been a little more rough for me. I am having trouble keeping food down, I am also not fighting as hard as I have been to hold my food in. I am not feeling miserable just the wanting to throw up. Who knows! I will speak to the Dr today about the Rx.

A little Break

I feel really good today, it is a nice little break from the past two weeks. I am trying to get all my housework done. We are watching my neice tonight and I will need all of my energy for that. I am praising and thanking the Lord for feeling well today!!

I am still not decided on the hormone pills yet :(

Parenting

The Lord has sure been preparing me for parenting for quite some time. I have been reading book after book on the topic and as the last set of friends to have kids I have been surrounded by those that have gone before me. I have had many models and I am so thankful that I have friends who have modeled the parenting we want to enforce. All of there children are well behaved and love their parents. I follow closely the ministry from Mike and Debbie Peal, they have a website call NoGreaterJoy.org. They have produced the best marriage book I have read and some of the best parenting books. The parenting books are very small but give great practical advice on how to train your children. I also will be using babywise when out new little one gets home. It puts the baby on a schedule which should produce a baby that sleeps throughout the night at 6 weeks along with some other great scheduling discipline. My sister asked me the other day what is something I am most excited about when the baby comes home. Beside holding my little baby I am so excited to train and discipline so my child will grow up to be a disciplined person, will love us and love the Lord. So much work to do and I know it will be hard but it will be worth it!

p.s. if anyone happens to visit nogreaterjoy.org please know that some things said need to be taken with a grain of salt. you will not agree with all things said and some things will just need to go in one ear and out the other. But many of their practices I have been in action and I have the wonderful result in the children.

Low Hormone Levels

I received a call from the Dr. tonight, my progesterone levels are low so they are asking me to take supplements for the next 2 to 3 months. I might call in and ask for a more natural route, that would make me a little more comfortable.

Dr Visit

I have been spotting for the last 3 days. I thought it was ok because the coloring was dark but today after lunch it was a bit lighter. The Dr. wanted to see me anyways if it went into the 3rd day. They took my blood to check my hormone levels which I will get the results back tomorrow. If they are low I might have to take hormones so I will not miscarry. I had to sign a consent form to take these things. That is making me feel very uneasy as the moment. I am hoping everything will be ok so I do not have to take them at all. They also did a second ultrasound (they did a first one last Friday to see how far along I was) and we saw the beating heart for the first time. That was truly amazing. That helped a bit knowing it is still in the and the heart rate is where it needs to be.
I will keep everyone posted when I get my results back.

I love to look

I closed the store tonight, something I absolutely hate doing. Shannon was in bed when I got home, which is why I hate closing. Anyway, when I came home there was a little baby outfit with a little baby blanket and a beautiful card from Chris and Laura Churchill. I just stood there and stared at it.
'We're going to put a baby in there.'
It's so awesome.
I went into the bedroom to kiss Shannon goodnight. I used to smile when I looked at her before, but now...I can't help but break my face when I look at her. She's carrying OUR child! A new human is inside of her, breathing out of its little gill looking things and eating what Shannon eats. I love to just look at her now and smile. I can't help it.

Dad

I am still in shock that I am going to be a dad. It's an amazing thing. Life is going to change more than I could have ever planned, but it is a welcomed change.
I am reading a few things right now in regards to parenting and fatherhood. It's a crash course to be sure. I would love it if, those that are fathers out there, would share your wisdom with me because I am going to need a lot of it.
With love,
Brandon.

Pics

That tiny little kidney bean is "the gestational sack." I have no idea what that means, but I sure sound smart calling it that. I have a feeling that I am going to start using a heck of a lot of unknown terms these days.

PEE TEST! I know that one! These are the pregnancy tests that we still believe are lying.

"No Way."

Shannon Capuano called Kristin Rogers after work on Wednesday January 17...
'Kristin, I know I'm not pregnant, but what does your body feel like when you are? My body's acting a little weird this month.'
(a brief explanation followed)
'That's what my body felt like when I was pregnant. You should get a pregnancy test, just to check.'
(an hour later)
'Bran, I think we should go get a pregnancy test.'
'Are you serious?'
'Yeah.'
'You're not pregnant, but whatever. Hey you want to watch a movie tonight?'
'No, let's go to Outback tonight.'
(so we went to Outback. then we went to CVS...)
'Should we get the one with two tests?'
'Yeah, that sounds fine.'
(ten minutes later...shannon's in the bathroom...brandon was logging into his yahoo mail...before his email came up, the bathroom door opened...and shannon had on 'the face.')
'
No way.'
'Bran, i think it is.'
'No, you're reading it wrong. Look at the picture.'
'Bran, the line is going up and down. That means you're pregnant'
'Yeah, but it happened so fast. There's no way. Why don't you take the other one. This one's bad...it has to be.'
'Let's wait until tomorrow, just in case it was something i ate.'
'Good idea.'
(if we're that bright, i feel bad for the kid)
(what followed was a conversation between shannon and kristin, of which all i could hear was, 'no i'm not. no i'm not. no i'm not!')
(thursday january 18, 6:30am...shannon went into the bathroom and i was making coffee)
'Bran, it's the same thing. These things are never wrong. There's no way we could get two wrong ones at once.'
'Oh my goodness...we are going to have a kid.'